January 2014

Last seasons pants

January 21, 2014

All’onda Our Expectations

Keep em zipped!

22 East 13th Street
(212) 231-2236
www.allondanyc.com

Allonda nyc

pants at a glance

  • scene: Well dressed groups of youngish people with good hearing
  • sip: Lambrusco was quite lovely
  • savor: Um....
  • sit: With anyone who enjoys a good laugh and can tolerate shitty service; people who can hear well and don't mind shouting
  • stilettos: Nikes preferable, to run in the opposite direction
  • spend: $$
  • address: 22 East 13th Street
  • phone number: (212) 231-2236
  • website: www.allondanyc.com

pants picks

dumb dumb dumbHyped Chef

If a knife falls in a restaurant and no one comes to replace it, is it really dirty?  This was one of the silly questions that  we were forced to ask ourselves while desperately trying to get someone’s attention during dinner at All’onda.  Now it might seem like I am going a little hard on […]

fully unzipped

September 30, 2013

ZZ’s Clam Bar-Greetings from Outer Space

button undone

169 Thompson Street
(212) 254-3000
www.zzsclambar.com

Good. But you'll still be able to go dancing after your meal.

pants at a glance

  • scene: Tiny tiny tiny tiny space from space
  • sip: Specialty cocktails and glasses of white wine only
  • savor: Defintely order all of the toasts; they are the yummiest items and not a million dollars
  • sit: Anyone who doesn't mind very expensive meals and has an appreciation for the absurd; small groups are best for the small space
  • stilettos: Only if they go with your space suit
  • spend: $$$$
  • address: 169 Thompson Street
  • phone number: (212) 254-3000
  • website: www.zzsclambar.com

pants picks

dumb dumb dumbFish Facemixologyunivery small

I really don’t even know where to start with this restaurant; I guess I will start with the positive, the fact that the food was amazing. The food we were served at ZZ’s was without a doubt sophisticated, nuanced and pleasing to the palate. There, I said it. Now, I must confess that ZZ’s Clam […]

fully unzipped

June 17, 2011

Telepan- Yummy with a side of Asshole

button undone

72 West 69th (between Columbus and Central Park West)
(212)580-4300
www.telepan-ny.com

Good. But you'll still be able to go dancing after your meal.

pants at a glance

  • scene: Awkward collection of rooms that are light filled and pleasant, if not in an odd color scheme; Almost every table is a banquet or booth, which is nice; cramped bar area when you first walk in
  • sip: wine
  • savor: smoked trout; quail; salmon
  • sit: with patient people who have tolerance for cold food and snotty waiters
  • stilettos: this is the UWS, so I am still not really sure what goes on up here; it is definitely a dining destination, but people in these parts wear all sorts of things…
  • spend: $$
  • address: 72 West 69th (between Columbus and Central Park West)
  • phone number: (212)580-4300
  • website: www.telepan-ny.com

pants picks

dumb dumb dumbHyped Chef

“I don’t know what to tell you.  You can keep asking me the same question and I will keep telling you that everything is good.” File under: First offensive thing that our asshole waiter at Telepan said to us.  Curious and educated eaters that we are, we tend to ask questions about flavor compositions of […]

fully unzipped