November 16, 2011

Pants Rant- Blue Water Grill




unzipped

I get it…a lot of servers want to be actors.  I understand that acting like you are happy to be serving spoiled brats like me day in and day out could be great preparation for a role one day, and that acting happy to be in uncomfortable shoes for 10 hours a day could be great for your craft.  However, if you are going to act like a waiter, then please at least remember to follow through with the most basic of actions: Bringing the food, clearing the food, etc…

Blue Water Grill is a neighborhood spot for us, and often when we don’t know where to eat we will pop in for some raw bar and vino.  Such was the case one beautifully fall-like early October evening, where we were even treated to a seat on the patio.  ( The fact that our hostess walked us to the farthest end of the patio, didn’t know how to open the door, and then threaded us through a maze of tables to the exact other side of the patio, can be overlooked for such a plum spot.  Just push the door darling, it won’t bite…)

Anyway, no sooner had we been seated, then HE appeared.  He, in the role of the “waiter”, entered, stage right, with great aplomb, to offer us water.  We requested a wine list, which he ran into the wings to retrieve, and proceeded to card us both, pretending to be familiar with our NJ ID’s. We threw an ad-lib at him and asked him to guess my age, and our actor was flumoxed. He followed that performance by bringing us the wrong wine.  He then launched into a loud, gesticulated, over-enunciated interpretation of the specials for the evening (I was waiting for the sucked in fish face to accompany a rather complicated sounding halibut dish, but to no avail).

After this star took our orders, he was missing from the entire second act.  It was supporting players only from that point on, except for the brief moment when he overheard our conversation about, no joke, Glee, and told us to watch it, we did not see him again.  Oh, we heard him, playing the waiter to other tables in his dinner theater of a section, but from that point on, we had to call our own shots.  We had to find someone to clear us.  To hand us dessert menus.  Our ACT-OR was so busy practicing his lines to other diners that by the time someone even asked us if we wanted dessert, we honestly didnt.  We were ready for reality TV at that point, too tired of the theater…I hope he gets his big break one day, for no other reason that some people might actually want to eat dessert…

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